Sunday, August 3, 2008


Something this morning made me think of BBQs. Maybe it has something to do with me BBQing up some fowl last night. Or maybe not.

Let me tell you about my Zapato steak.

I was once in a Mexican restaurant somewhere, probably in Lomita or Gardena or something, and an item on the menu was Zapato Steak. A zapato is a shoe, for anyone who might wonder. I didn't understand why anyone would want a "shoe steak". Or maybe I missed something somewhere, which is always possible.

And then a couple of months later someone gave me a couple of London Broils to BBQ. So I did, and forgot about them, and I ended up with Zapato steaks of my own. And the neighbors dog wouldn't eat them. The dog that ate its own shit, and the shit of every other living creature in the neighborhood, wouldn't eat these steaks.

Did I mention *Allegany Decadence? It's brown too, so I remembered it when I was thinking about shit.

What you need, first and foremost, is a motherfucker of a hangover. Chocolate graham crackers, some of that chocolate cream cheese cake frosting by.. Duncan Hines or whoever makes it. A fifth-bottle of Carolan's. Make some coffee.

When the coffee is done, pour it and all the Carolan's into whatever container you find will hold it all. Take your container of booze, your frosting and your graham crackers out onto the porch/lanai/balcony and get a head start on the day. You can even scoop the frosting onto the graham crackers and eat the graham crackers and frosting together. That's the bonus of Allegany Decadence.

*Allegany in Oregon. Not Allegheny, PA. I did not spell it wrong so cram it.


Yellowbeard said...

Well, you suck and this sucks and your blog sucks and all your friends suck... wait, that isn't right, I shouldn't visit a blog just to be stupid.

What I meant to say was, I had one of those steaks once, not so good for me. It was a family thing, so it was forced down with a lot of drinky drinky.

pril said...

I'll totally cop to sucking. And I'm damn good at it. Gosh darnit.

kalipornia said...

mmmm graham crackers and packaged frosting...

pril said...

kali it's million-megaton da bomb.